Discipline means to teach a lesson through a painful experience. One of the most painful disciplines happens when God teaches us about ourselves. Luther once said, “Whether a person believes it or not, no agony, pain or burden could be worse than feeling all of the evil that lies within himself. If a person were able to feel all of his evil, he would get a taste of what hell is like. So when the all-powerful disciplines us in his mercy, he only shows us our lesser evils. He knows that if he shows us all of our wickedness, we would be ruined and would die in an instant.” (LW 42:125)
Think of the pain that Peter went through when he discovered what a coward he really was. When he heard the rooster crow he found out that deep within himself lived a terribly selfish coward. The revelation of who he was nearly killed him with grief and despair.
In this 139th Psalm David concludes by asking God to “search” him and “test” him. It reads, “Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting”. It is one of the boldest prayers a Christian can pray . . . either that or one of the most ignorant. Why? Because you are asking God to take away your layers – to take off the veneer and show you and others what you are really like on the inside. It’s nicer to live in a little dream world where I can imagine myself to be the ultimate father, husband, and pastor. Life is much more easy when there are no tests to prove me wrong. But if I pray for the Lord to “test” me and “search” me, He who knows me perfectly will uncover all kinds of faults of impatience and selfishness that I really didn’t want to admit to in the first place.
Search Me, Know Me, Test Me
Why would David ask such a bold
thing? For one thing, God already KNEW
what he was like on the inside anyway.
Verse one admits, O LORD, you
have searched me and you know me. 2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you
perceive my thoughts from afar. 3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways. The word for “search” means to thoroughly
examine . . . like a coroner cuts apart a cadaver and searches the ins and outs
to find the origin of death. Jesus said
that God has every hair of our head numbered.
Yet this is not just a mathematical knowledge. God also “discerns” when we go out and lay
down. He examines our lifestyle and our
motives behind what we are doing and why we are doing it. He knows why you took your job. He knows how much effort you are putting into
your homework. He examines the way in
which you do your chores at home. He
carefully examines the ins and outs of your life.
So when you think about it – if the holy God is already studying you and knows you backwards and forwards, wouldn’t it be able to see for yourself how well you were doing? If a simple test could bring out a hidden anger or laziness or jealousy, then we would once again realize how sinful we really are, and how much we need the righteousness of Christ to cover us. That revelation of our hidden sin would drive us to fall before Jesus as Peter and say, “away from me Lord, for I am a sinful man”, clinging to his promise of forgiveness and love in the cross – “in the way everlasting”. It would then lead us to hate this sin within us and continually repent of it so that we might even have a change in our attitude and actions and keep from doing even worse things.
II.
Because you can’t run from God
Since God already knows everything about you and there is nothing you can hide, how does it make you feel? It makes some people feel angry and hemmed in – as if they had no freedom. It makes others feel comfortable and relaxed. If this all powerful and all knowing God knows who we really are and examines our every move – then he must be taking care of my every move – He must have everything under control. Is this something I should fear or run from? This is what David ponders over in the second portion of this Psalm.
5 You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your
Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my
bed in the depths, you are there. 9
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
This Psalm
has played out throughout the history of the Bible. When Jonah tried to run from God, God
controlled the winds and the wave and caused him to be thrown into the
sea. Even in the depths of the
This is a
terrifying thought to those who have wanted nothing to do with God. John
Then the kings of the earth, the
princes, the generals, the rich, the mighty, and every slave and every free man
hid in caves and among the rocks of the mountains. They called to the mountains
and the rocks, “Fall on us and hide us from the face of him who sits on the
throne and from the wrath of the Lamb! For the great day of their wrath has
come, and who can stand?”
There is no where you can hide from God. Imagine then what a scary sight it will be for those who have been living their hidden lives and who have covered up their abuses will be exposed for what they are on the Day of great Judgment – standing before God as He reads every single thing they have ever done.
This would be terrifying for us if we did not recognize the full impact of that last statement. Darkness is as light to God. He makes the dark shine as light. In these statements we see how God works and we find refuge. The most dark and evil period of our world took place when the Maker of all things was put on a cross. The sky turned dark. The wrath of God descended on the son of God. Hell came to earth. Yet this darkness is turned to light when Jesus declares to us through the darkness, “it is finished.” At this deepest and darkest point in history the greatest light of hope and forgiveness shines out. Our sins are paid for and our holiness is purchased. When the law shows us how dark and evil we are – when it brings hell to our door – then the light of the Gospel is able to shine into the broken heart. Darkness is as light. So instead of running from the all present and powerful and knowing God – the Holy Spirit induces us to run to the holy God and find our holiness in His Son. He lets us see that the Holy God wants to make His home in us sinful beings and put His blood on us. Wonder of wonders!
III. Because God controls life from beginning to end
This magnificence of the God who works in dark places can be seen in a much simpler illustration – in the conception and birth of a baby.
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, 16 your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
David looked at his life as a miracle of God – that his very development was the result of a holy God meticulously stitching him together piece by piece within the womb of his mother. This text is often used as a Biblical basis against abortion. Recent films which show the development of the baby in the womb concur with this very fact – that there is obvious life – precious life - growing in the womb of a woman. This power and providence of God over him – even in the hidden places – led David to once again recognize that his life was in God’s hands. We are specifically designed with a special purpose by God – to the point that every day is written out and scripted by God.
This is a mind blowing thought. If the all powerful God creates life in the womb, then how come some children come out with such physical problems? If every day that we live is written in his book before they even happen, then what power do we really have in life? If I die in a car accident today, is it due to the way I was driving; or was it in fact destined to happen that way? If I am a bad husband and turn out to be a not so hot child – is that God’s design? If God already has it written down then why should I even try? Why should I care? There are things that drove Job to be furious.
Even David had some issues when he
got to thinking about God – because David constantly had to deal with evil and
bloodthirsty men who were misusing the good LORD’s
name. Before he officially became king
he had to deal with Saul chasing him through the countryside as the king of
It is this same issue that has dogged men throughout the ages. In the book of Hebrews he mentions a whole history of believers who had been persecuted under the faith, but then He tells the listeners to put up with it – that God disciplines those He loves. It has led many former Christians to deny their faith and even deny there is a God. These things are as David said, “too lofty to attain.” Consider them to be your modern day Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Don’t try to eat from it. You’ll only choke if you try.
IV. Because God knows everything
David couldn’t understand all of these deep things of God – yet instead of getting angry at God as Job did or trying to understand them, he simply stated, “17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.” Instead of trying to fit God into his brain, David with a child like faith just basically said, “wow, these are deep things.” It was ok with David, because it reminded him that he couldn’t figure God out – and he didn’t want to. Finally, he took comfort in knowing God would also be there at his death – when he would awake to eternal life.
The theme of this service is to stand firm, even when faith is on trial. One of the most difficult things of faith is to accept that God has his hand around you when the devil is poking and prodding at you. You can’t help but think about these lofty things. It’s easy – like Job – to get angry about it – to demand God to answer to you. Today’s Psalm takes a different approach. Instead of getting angry at God for not destroying His enemies and making you put up with them – you can follow David in several ways –
· Think about God. Instead of denying Him, dwell on his characteristics. Remind yourself that He is omniscience, omnipresent, omnipotent. It will keep you from panic. God is in control – even when the devil seems to be having a heyday on your world. Remind yourself that God KNOWS you inside and out. He designed you, so surely He KNOWS what is best for you.
· Pray about it and proclaim it. Instead of running from God in anger – run to Him with your anger or questions. Talk about it with God. Tell him how you are feeling. He knows you’re thinking it – so speak it as well. It’s not as if He will defrock you for letting your thoughts be known. Remember that this is the LORD listening – the same one who DIED for you and COVERED you in His blood. Ask him to come to the rescue.
· Contemplate on how God uses darkness. He allowed Satan to tempt Judas to sell Jesus to die on a cross. Throughout all of the darkness, God worked the redemption of the world. He allowed Paul to have a thorn in the flesh, but then made Paul realize that in his weakness God worked his strength. Remember how God works – through the weak and shameful things of this world – to bring His strength through the weakness.
· Trust God to be in control. It’s like a movie – which is made one picture at a time and then played at full speed. He’s got your whole life planned out – so that you can stay faithful as a Christian. He won’t let things be beyond your control. He’ll work with you and through you – with His Holy Spirit – to guide you in the way He has designed. This isn’t a reason for despair or to sit and do nothing – but a reason for hope and confidence and action.
With the invention of the Internet and Youtube we are now living in an age where nothing is private. There are videos of everything in life being displayed on the Internet for the world to see. Many of these are a source of life long embarrassment to people – and they can’t do anything about it.
When we think about our lives on earth, we try to hide so much about ourselves. We like to convince God that we are somebody we know we really aren’t. So we put on smiles, act happy, and do all these things that we really don’t feel on the inside. It scares us to death to be exposed.
David knew what it was like to be exposed when Nathan showed him exactly who he was. Instead of making him crawl into a closet and committing suicide, he was forgiven and clung to God all the more. He then prayed that God would expose him through even more tests. It is a bold prayer to make. Search me, know me, test me.
When you remember WHO GOD IS and
contemplate on HIM –it will give you confidence to make this prayer, because you
know that He who searches you is also the One who covers you with His blood and
forgiveness. He who embarrasses you is
also the One who makes you proud. He who
puts you to death is also the one who brings you to life. He leads you into the way everlasting. He knows what is best for you. Simply
trust He really is in control AND more importantly that He is a God of mercy,
love, forgiveness and kindness – it will free you to let loose with this dangerous,
difficult and bold prayer.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know
my anxious thoughts. 24 See if there is
any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Amen.