October 22, 2006 Mark 10:2-12

Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?" "What did Moses command you?" he replied. They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away." "It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law," Jesus replied. "But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery."

Several men were recently caught trying to solicit sex from little kids on the Internet. The "children" they thought they were pursuing were actually police officers posing as underage children. SO - get this - the attorneys defended their clients stating that since they weren't actually soliciting children for sex - they should be set free. What really makes me angry is that - if I remember correctly - the judge let them off the hook! It makes me want to ring the judge's neck, the attorney's neck, and the perpetrators neck! All over a seeming "loophole" in the law. Instead of using common sense, these kinds of people are using their knowledge of the law to absolutely ruin our systems and jeopardize our freedoms - letting known criminals go with a slap on the hand because one "i" was not dotted or a "t" was not crossed. The criminals of course love this because it enables them to keep doing what they want at the expense of the public. If we do not get a hold on our legal system soon - there will be no justice.

The same epidemic is happening with marriage. The attack on marriage is on all sides - with a push for homosexual marriage, an increase of people living together, and constant divorce at an almost fifty percent ratio. The worst part is that Christians are not holding the line on this any better. Instead of fighting the trend, theologians are looking for reasons to allow these things to go on. Back in Jesus' time, even the Pharisees seemed to be falling into this trap. When it comes to marriage, Jesus encourages us today to -

Get Back to the Original Design

I. The original design is not found in lawyers loopholes

The Pharisees used to study the law of God and tried to figure out exactly how to interpret it and live by it. Usually they were overzealous in their application of the law - adding rules to rules in order to feel good about themselves. This didn't seem to be the case with marriage. In their studying of the law there was a debate between two Rabbis who lived a century before Jesus over Deuteronomy 24. It reads,

If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, . . he writes her a certificate of divorce.

Moses allowed the Israelite men to give out a certificate of divorce to a woman who was "displeasing" In looking at that word "displeasing" - the rabbi Shammai supposedly favored a strict interpretation of the law - divorce only for marital unfaithfulness, while another rabbi by the name of Hillel assumed that "displeasing" can mean that a man can divorce for even something so minor as burning a meal if he likes. The Pharisees knew this was a big debate. So they came to Jesus with this question in order to test him - seeing what he would say. When was divorce ok according to this law?

It's rather peculiar that the Pharisees who loved to use the law to restrict - were looking to this law to figure out what you COULD do - what was permissible. They were wondering if Moses was giving a blank check for divorce. It reminds me of a teenager who approaches a relationship with the opposite sex and asks, "how far can I go?" Imagine if a young man came to your door to pick up your daughter for a date and asked you, "how far can I go?" You would say, "how far can you go? I'll show you how far you can go. You can go right back out to your car and take your sorry rear end out of here!" That's just not the way you want him even THINKING - much less asking.

Yet this is how so many people are approaching marriage yet today. Everyone recognizes that divorce is a serious problem in our society. So they are looking for ways around the law - by living together before marriage. In New York only twenty five percent of people living together are married. Fifty percent of people getting married are already living together. When they do get married - they still want to guard against divorce. On the Today Show this past week it was shown that prenuptial agreements are becoming more and more common. So they are making laws to be very clear what they can get divorced over. For instance, some have put a simulation that the husband and wife must have sexual relations at least two times a week. Another one had a stipulation that neither spouse could exceed a certain weight limit. They figure if they lay out the limits and the laws ahead of time, then they will have a better rule book to go by. If one or the other party breaks the agreement, then a divorce is in order. Can you see how messed up this is? As they are trying to guard against divorce, they are still in effect planning to fail.

Moses didn't even want the people to contemplate divorce. He was writing these certificates as a concession to people who weren't treating marriage without the dignity it deserved. Remember that Moses had to deal with millions of people who all went by the name of Israelites - but didn't believe as God wanted them to. So Jesus answered the Pharisees, "It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law." If you go into marriage thinking and planning for reasons you can divorce your spouse - this kind of mind set betrays a deeper problem within - a hard heart that only thinks about itself. All you are thinking about is what YOU want instead of what God wants. If you don't get sex two times a week, then you can get divorced? If she doesn't keep within a certain weight limit, then you can get rid of her? This totally defeats the purpose. Just because God may have allowed them to get divorced didn't mean that He approved of it.

When God's Word becomes a search for loopholes - an excuse book to allow you to do whatever you want - not whatever God wants - you are on a pathway to destruction. I'm afraid the road is very wide. A regular church going Bible believer may find herself unhappy with her spouse. So she will find a Bible passage where God says to "rejoice." So she'll say, "God wants me to be happy. I'm not happy with my marriage. I'll get rid of my spouse." This is the way the mind works. A Christian man knows that God's Word says the wife should submit. So he treats her like an employee and commands her to get him a beer and refuses to raise a hand to help her with the cleaning, the finances, or the children. When she complains he immediately files for a divorce and has the gall to say, "she's not being submissive." What about being loving? We become complete hypocrites yet convince ourselves that we are ok with God because of the loopholes we make. Listen to this interesting verse from Psalm 50 -

"What right have you to recite my laws or take my covenant on your lips? 17 You hate my instruction and cast my words behind you. 21 These things you have done and I kept silent; you thought I was altogether like you. But I will rebuke you and accuse you to your face. 22 "Consider this, you who forget God, or I will tear you to pieces, with none to rescue:

Isn't this a picture of what the Pharisees were doing? Isn't this what people do when they self righteously get divorced - thinking that their spouse is the only one to blame - when they've got four fingers pointing back at themselves?

II. The original design is found in Adam and Eve

Instead of even considering divorce and when it was "ok", Jesus wanted to get beyond the laws about divorce - to the core of what marriage was all about. What is the purpose of marriage in the first place? This is the key point. He goes back to Genesis for the answer. (You know, if churches simply went back to the first 11 chapters of Genesis - many of the problems we are having within the church would solve themselves. It addresses all of the major issues that are dividing Christianity today - original sin - the promise of the Savior - creation - the flood - man and woman - and in today's text - marriage!) Jesus said,

at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.' 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.' So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

First of all, Jesus states that God originally made a male and a female and brought them together. Marriage was instituted when God created Eve out of Adam's rib. This was not a caveman clubbing a cave woman with a club and making her start cooking his dinners. God designed and instituted marriage. When you contemplate marriage - you contemplate a God pleasing thing - the first office and interpersonal relationship designed on earth for man. It gives man an excuse and a reason to separate from his mother and father - and start out on his own and make his own identity as a God pleasing man with his own family unit - starting with a wife.

These two different people - male and female - were specifically designed by God to compliment one another and fit together in a unique way - first of all physically. Men just don't fit with men - nor women with women. That's why God made a woman for man - it was a natural fit - where the two would become one flesh. This is one of the beauties of marriage - something that makes it so enjoyable. The sexual union involves an openness and a trust in one another that you find in no other relationship on earth. You explore and understand every inch of your spouse - and you know everything about him or her. There are no embarrassing secrets - and you don't want there to be any - because God designed you to be one flesh.

Yet this is much more than a sexual union. They were to work together as a team - one unit - literally glued together - joined together like two animals plowing through a field with a yoke around their necks. When two animals are under the same yoke they have to walk step in step - not ahead nor behind one another - but side by side. They are at the mercy of their master - and they are called to tough duty together as they plow through the dirt with instruments tied to their necks. Sometimes it will mean that you will have to do most of the work while the cow next to you makes you drag. Sometimes that stud horse next to you will be going too fast and not waiting up for you - being mean and pulling you along much faster than you want. Sometimes - as you are both tired and worn out - you may not even like each other - but nonetheless you'll find yourself stuck in the same harness together. It isn't an easy life - but you are in it together.

This is how marriage is. For better or for worse - no matter what field you are called to plow - no matter how heavy the yoke - no matter how slow the person next to you is - you are in it together. Let no man separate you. Even if the old grey mare next to you is slowing you down, you will not even think of trading him in for a new stud - because you were bound together by God - agreeing to pick up the slack. This year you may have to pick up the slack - but next year the other half may have some more work. This is one of the greatest challenges of marriage. No matter how grey you get - how slow you get - how ugly you get - you are in it for life. You will always have that companion by your side until death parts you. Jesus basically said that divorce should not even come into the picture. "Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery."

It's kind of interesting how even the disciples responded to this. They said to Jesus, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry." It's interesting that Jesus didn't deny what they were saying - basically concurring that marriage isn't easy. Instead Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12 For some are eunuchs because they were born that way; others were made that way by men; and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it." What Jesus was saying was, "that's fine - if you can remain single - more power to you." But not everyone can accept this - in other words - not everyone can live this way. As a matter of fact, a majority of people don't have this gift - this ability to live by themselves for all of their lives. It is a gift, no doubt. But most of us would just burn with passion if we tried something like this. So Jesus said, "marriage is for life. It's not an easy life. But it is for life."

But look at the big picture again. Marriage was instituted by God. Even though it has it's hardships - it also has it's wonderful blessings. A man and a woman can grow old together - get to know each other so well - have children and grandchildren - and live with a great trust in one another. When two people are married - they are able to enjoy having sex together without guilt - without the fear of disease - and without the pressure of having to be a prize champion in the bed every night. Why? Because you are already committed to each other under the marriage bond. You know that even though you aren't the greatest spouse you are not going to be left in the dust. When your mother and father pass away due to old age, you still have the companionship of the spouse in the time of such a loss. When you think about marriage in this way, it makes you say, "who would want to look for reasons or loopholes for divorce? What kind of a hard hearted or selfish person would want to trade in their plow mate for a younger version - or to go it alone - after having experienced and enjoyed the companionship of marriage - knowing that they are living in an arrangement God designed at creation?"

If you are married, and you have even thought about divorce - or worse yet - if you have actually gone through a divorce - this kind of a text must be piercing to your soul. Jesus denounces divorce in no uncertain terms. He even denounces the thought of it. How could you who call yourself a Christian even think that way? The truth is that I could think that way - and you could think that way - because we are still corrupted by a sinful nature. Try as we may - try as we might - these sinful thoughts and actions come through us at times. Try as we may, try as we might - they still creep up on us. When they do, we can't make up for it. We can't take back the past. Even if we weren't completely to blame, we still have that guilt. We can't hide this from our God - because He sees and knows all of our thoughts - even the hairs of our head are numbered.

So what will Jesus - our so-called Groom - do? Will He say to us, "get away from me, you faithless whore? I gave you a spouse and you dumped her! I gave you a husband and you wanted to get rid of him! I won't take divorced people into heaven." According to what He Himself says, He should. But - if you are scared that He is going to disown you, be rest assured that He won't, because Paul describes for us a Groom that is beyond our understanding.

2 Timothy 2:13 If we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself.

Romans 5 says, "You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

God's love has always been unique - because He has designed it to be a gracious love. In grace He chooses to love the ugly and the ungodly. He chooses to marry the sinners - and make them saints. He knows that His new Bride continues to be weak and fickle and faithless in many ways - but He continues to forgive us and love us and stay faithful to us - in spite of these things. He even illustrated it by having Hosea - an Old Testament prophet - marry a prostitute name Gomer. Even though she was an unfaithful and stinking whore, he had Hosea marry her anyway. And when she left him, he bought her back and took her back again. This is the type of Groom we have. He is not one that marries us because we are beautiful or rich. Instead, He - the rich and powerful and loving Groom - makes us beautiful and rich and powerful through our marriage to Him. He gives us the beautiful garment. He puts the wedding ring of faith on our finger. He takes all of our filth on Him - and makes it His own. He takes all of His beauty - and puts it on us. This is not just a one time gift - it is an eternal gift. It is a constant relationship of undeserved love - grace. As long as we leave this wedding ring of faith on , this faithful Husband promises us in Hebrews 13, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." He doesn't practice divorce, even on those who have been divorced. It's a wonderful design - this love that God has for us.

If you have been designed for marriage, God wants you to think about your marriage to your spouse or your future spouse in light of His design of grace. Forget about Moses, forget about divorce - even if you've already been through it - and only think about Christ. He knows we're ugly, but Jesus doesn't look for reasons to divorce us. He looks for ways to make us beautiful - for ways to show His love to us more and more - for ways to reassure us of His commitment to us - for ways to make us want to love Him and be committed to Him more and more. Think about that in your marriage - get back to the original design. One Savior. One man. One woman. Brought together into one flesh - for one life - just as Christ has become one with us. Amen.